My teenage son doesn’t listen to me and then he tries to bribe me with presents to deserve his trust again. How should I explain to him that it’s the wrong thing to do?


Hi everyone! My son is 14 and I am trying to have some kind of friendly relationship with him, but sometimes he seems to forget that I am his mother and he is a child still. I am trying to be a very understanding mother, never screaming at him or overreacting if he did something wrong, but it doesn’t work always. There’s been a few times where I didn’t let him to do something, for example – going to the concert for 18+ but he did it anyway without feeling any guilt. He left a note for me, asking not to worry and he wrote a time when he would be back. Eventually he came back in time but I still need to explain to him that what he did was wrong. What could you recommend me to do in this situation? It’s very important for me to keep our friendly relationships with him, but to teach him a lesson.

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Relationship Sabina Ilie 1 year 19 Answers 848 views 0

Answers ( 19 )

  1. How about going to the concert next time with him instead of not letting him go?

  2. To be honest, I understand your son, as when I was his age I would probably do the same if I wanted to see the band I love. Your son sounds very thoughtful, he didn’t just leave without an explanation, he left you a note, so he assumed you would be worrying. You should talk to him and explain that it would be better not to make decisions like this on his own next time.

    • I agree with you! I was like that as well. If my parents tried to talk properly to me back then, maybe we would avoid many fights, but they only did everything with screaming. You are a very good mother, if you are trying to be a friend to him. Next time, if he really wants to go that much, then let him, but discuss time when he is coming back, ask him to call when the concert is over, make sure he will find a way to get home if it’s late. Good luck!

  3. I think that your son is very responsible to leave a note and also to come back home in time. It looks like he really wanted to go, so don’t be mad at him, he understood that he was doing a wrong thing, that’s why, as you mentioned, sometimes he tried to “bribe” you. Ask him not to do anything like that without your permission, but all teenagers are like that sometimes and we’ve all been there!

  4. I am reading these comments above and I am absolutely shocked! Leaving a note doesn’t justify him! He is a child, what if something would have happened to him there? How did he come inside if that’s a concert 18+? I suppose there was alcohol and maybe even drugs! After anything like this he should be punished and told off!

  5. I can tell that your son is not just honest (he didn’t lie about going to the concert, he said exactly where he went), but also he is responsible (he left the note and came back home in time). I agree that what he’s done was wrong, but he managed to do something wrong in the most acceptable way! It tells that you are definitely doing something right and he is growing to be a real man! However, what he did was wrong, that’s why he should be punished. Don’t try to be too strict with him though, as an option, you could ask him to pick a punishment for himself. Offer him to pick for example between hoovering the house for a month, or washing up every day etc.

  6. I read somewhere before that while raising teenagers it’s important not to tell them: “you can’t do this”, but instead you should talk to them and explain the consequences their actions could lead to. Teenagers learn how to analyze this way and should be able to understand why doing something that their parents don’t approve is not a very good idea.

  7. Thank you ladies for your support! I am surprised, that most of you wrote compliments to my son, even though he’s been naughty. I really hope we can manage to discuss everything better next time!

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