I need to come back to work after my maternity leave, but I don’t know how to trust a babysitter. What can I do???

Question

Hello dear mothers! My maternity leave is soon to be over, and I need to come back to work leaving my little baby at home with a babysitter. I found a woman with a good babysitting experience who seemed really nice to me. Yesterday I left my daughter with her for a few hours, but when I came to take my baby back, I heard her crying as soon as I stepped to the door. When I came inside, I found out that my daughter was barely eating all day, she had less than a half of all the milk that I left. So if I can’t even leave her for a few hours, how can I trust her to a babysitter for the whole day five days a week? I could stay on maternity leave for even longer, but I consider it as a weakness. I want to work and move up the career ladder but at the same time I am really worried about leaving my baby with a stranger. Has anyone had the same situation?

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Relationship Carole Dubois 2 months 35 Answers 331 views 0

Answers ( 35 )

  1. If you are too worried, then extending your maternity leave seems like the best option for you. Have more time with your daughter while you are able to and you may also invite a babysitter sometimes, so your daughter can get used to her.

  2. As for me, maternity leave isn’t a weakness! It’s not just a possibility to take care of your baby, but also a way to a self-development. You can spend time for yourself and do what you love while carrying your baby with you, especially at this age babies are sleeping all the time, so it doesn’t really matter where to take her. Do whatever you think is right for you at the moment! Good luck!

    • You are right, but to be honest since I had this job it became my main hobby. My other interests I had, before giving a birth to my daughter, they required more time and finances that I currently can’t afford. The options are either working for me now, or fully giving myself to raising my baby. I feel like I am being torn apart and can’t decide what’s the best!

      • I understand what you mean. In this case you should spend some more time with daughter but don’t let yourself get sick of being home! Some people can’t be happy not working. Spend a good amount of time for your babysitter’s search and then feel no guilty of coming back to work!

        • How can a mother become sick of being home while taking care of her baby? What kind of mother is that? I don’t understand, why would you give a birth to a baby if you have more important things to do and spending time with your children makes you unhappy???

          • Omg, I think you misunderstood my words! We live far from the times when everything that women did was raising children and making food! If author wants to work, develop and to support her family, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love her daughter. Every woman has a different personality and we all have different hobbies that make us happier! Children need happy mothers, so if author loves her job and gets bored to stay home for too long, it’s her right to get back to working!

        • No, I understood everything right. Well, if those mothers want their children not knowing them at all, then it’s up to them…

      • Please don’t take too serious comments of Georgina.. you are free to decide whatever is the best for your family and if you choose to start working again, it doesn’t make you a bad mother!

  3. My son is three months old and I have the same problem as you do. I am afraid of leaving him for the whole day, but after he is 1 year old I probably should take him to nursery.

  4. I think you should stay on maternity cover until you make sure you can trust somebody. Our pediatrician said that my children are very lucky because I was babysitting them myself for a while. Mother’s care is the best for a child!

  5. You should choose the most comfortable option for yourself. Don’t look at other mothers, try to decide on your own what you need to do. Everyone follows different principles and has different opinions about raising their children.

  6. Is there a possibility to do your work remotely or part time? It would be a good solution in your situation.

  7. You must decide what is a right thing to do in your case. I hope that you get all the support from your family in spite of the decision you make. All the best luck!

    • Thank you! My family supports me. My mother offered to stay with my daughter after I complained her about the babysitter, but she lives quite far away, so I am not sure if it’s a good idea taking my daughter to hers everytime I go to work.

  8. If you don’t trust babysitters, you could try a nursery, but there are many other babies, so your baby may not get all the attention she needs. After your daughter is 1 year old, you can try that and I am sure she would love playing there with other children. If your situation allows you to extend your maternity leave, then maybe you should do that, but if you are willing to work, then don’t worry about leaving your baby, it’s not a terrible thing to do! The most important is to spend a lot of time with her after work. Before you start working, maybe it makes sense to look for another babysitter? Also, I don’t want to be mean, but is it possible that you are the problem and the babysitter wasn’t that bad? Sometimes mothers exaggerating when it comes to the topic of their children’s well-being.

    • I am not sure, maybe I am worrying too much. I mean, babies are crying very often and maybe it was just another crying, but it breaks my heart to hear my little daughter suffering, especially, when I found out that she was hungry all the time!

      • This comment is edited.

        Maybe your daughter was missing you, that’s why she was crying! I think the babysitter would give her all the milk, if your daughter was that hungry. She might off being stressed while accompanied by a new person, that’s why didn’t want to eat. I think if she gets to know this nanny better, she will be a good girl!

  9. I think it depends on your personality. If you are careerist like me, honestly you can get depressed staying home and not working for a while. I stayed with my son until 4 months old, it was good to be able to take care of him, but I completely forgot about myself and became too stressful. If you aren’t “a housewife” type of woman, then I would recommend you to bring your daughter to a nursery and get back to working. It helped me and it also improved the situation in my family, but you are the one to decide for yourself.

    • I am definitely not a ‘housewife’ type and I have big ambitions about my career but at the same time I am not sure if I would be able to work, worrying about my little girl of the time. 🙁  Thank you for your response anyway!

      • Don’t get this wrong, but have you thought about attending a therapist? To be honest, it looks like you’re actually exaggerating (like somebody said before). Try a few different nannies and see if that’s a problem with the particular one or if that’s just you are being worried too much!

  10. I recommend you to wait at least until your daughter is 5-6 months old and then start  leaving her with a nanny or taking her to nursery. It’s also very important to build good relationships with a baby-sitter. You should sit down and talk to her, tell her everything about your daughter and how to take the best care of her, if there is something you don’t like – you should tell about this as well. Good babysitter will accept your critic and try to do whatever is the best for your child. I am not surprised your baby was crying when you came and didn’t eat properly as babies are clever and they don’t trust strangers that easily! It will take some time for your daughter to get used to stay with a baby-sitter, so you should put some more effort on this, instead of trying to leave all the responsibility to the nanny! Take care.

    Best answer
  11. I am not sure what your circumstances are, but I think that the first year of life children should spend with their mothers. I was taking care of my daughter until she became 1 year old, after that I hired a part-time babysitter for her, so I could do stuff for myself, then after 2 years old I took her to the nursery and I think it was a very good timing, not too early but not too late either. Now my daughter goes to school and I work full time, trying to achieve my career goals.

  12. I just wanted to thank everyone for your different opinions and so many answers! I didn’t even expect such a feedback on my question, I am new here. Have a good night everyone and take care! 🙂

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